Tunnel for the Soul

Trinkle, Trinkle

Down in Pain

Your heart still aches when you see the rain

Your mind still sears with the thoughts of light.

But you'll never find it in this cold, brutal night.

Chickens...

01-14-2073

Right. Left. Right. Left. I stare at my sneaker-clad feet as I walk down this gravel road. Each step takes me farther into the unknown. To a place that will hopefully hold me safe. All I need to do is escape this life I’ve lived in for so long. Too long. One more step. One more tear.

The cold wind is my only friend. All those words. All those faces. Stick to me like glue. Each time they told me I couldn’t.

All I need to do is forget. Everything.

The world will end in a week. And I’m the only one left. My name is Aderyn. I know. Unusual. You’ve probably never heard it before. It means “Bird”. I know, when I learned that too I cried.

I hope I don’t get too attached to you because you’re just a journal. And you always will be. Face the facts, you stupid journal.

I’m sorry, I hurt your feelings. I loved teasing Cryan. He was a great little brother. Too bad the plague took him. It took everyone. Now the only things left are me, the wind, and a couple stupid chickens here and there.

01-15-2073

I’m a Vegan. Always was. I can’t stop being vegan. But there is nothing to eat. I’ve traveled for so long. Miles and miles and haven’t found one single store! All these chickens. They tease me. They tease me like I teased you and I teased Cryan and he teased our dog and she teased the cat who teased the birds. The birds teas- &&&&&&&&&&&&&

01-18-2073

My pen ran out of ink and now I have to use this ugly navy color. It’s been a few hours and I’m starving, to say the least.  The chickens still tease me. Am I insane? Maybe I should take a decision, or else I’ll die of starvation. Chickens are overpopulated anyway... This piece was a small recreation that my friend, Lily Rhyne, and I wrote on a free evening.

Cursed Cat

“See you in the evening!”

Mom caresses my hand and adorns me with kisses before I get a chance to pull away. I grab my backpack, adjust my hoodie and walk into the school.

Squeak squeak! Ms. Penny scrawls out words on the whiteboard while simultaneously speaking.

“Snow White and the seven dwarfs is meant to teach a lesson of common sense. As you can see, Little Snow wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed ‘“because she was taken advantage of twice! First, the evil queen cuts off her circulation. Next, she poisons her! The tales were much more gruesome than the sappy Disney movies they show nowadays.

Ms. Penny draws a quick sketch of something that looks like a potato with lots of hair. She sloppily writes “Rapunzel” down at the bottom.

“In the Disney version. Rapunzel has Flynn take her to the lanterns and SPOILER ALERT she finds out that she is the lost princess. That’s the true story, right? WRONG! Actually, the prince is not a thief, like Flynn is. He finds Rapunzel in the castle and they fall in love. Then the prince leaves the castle and the witch finds out what they did. So she does cut off Rapunzel’s hair and tie it to the windowsill, and the prince does climb the hair only to be smacked by the witch. Plus, the thorns do hurt his eyes…. So then Rapunzel gets kicked out of the tower ‘cause her magical hair is useless now and she wanders around in the forest and gives birth to twins. The blind prince follows her singing voice and the babies cry and they live happily ever after!”

Everyone is so quiet that you could’ve heard a pin drop.

Ms. Penny drinks her water and the intercom comes on. Mr. Garibaldi’s voice booms through the speakers.

“Hey Everybody! Five more minutes until the weekend, guys! The Science Club will meet today from four to seven for the Biology Bonanza! Congrats to Thomas Wu and Kunal Patel for placing third in the Geography Bee. Our Food for Champs fundraiser will begin next week! Donate canned foods, blankets, and deodorant for a chance to win an iPad Mini!” The class buzzes with excitement after that line.  “Alright, everyone, that is it! Have a great weekend!”

The intercom turns off and everyone resumes their chatter.

The bell rings and everyone stampedes through the door. I try not to get squished in the ambush as I make it down the hall. Success!

Aunt Jasmine is waiting for me in her red car.

“Hey, little nugget!”, she says as she ruffles my hair.

“How was school?”  I prepare my sarcastic response

“Exciting. I’m hungry, let's GO!” Jazz steps on the gas, and we zoom out of the parking lot. I love Aunt Jasmine and all but the woman can’t drive.

We pull up to the shop and Jazz opens the door for me.

“Your Majesty’s bubble tea…” she bows down and leads the way.  The moment I step in, the aroma of taro overwhelms me. Jazz’s fiancée, Gen twirls in, holding a purple drink with a green straw.

“I assumed you would be coming,” he says. Gen gives Jazz a hug and says, “You will not believe what came in the mail!” He runs into the kitchen and brings out a big box. There’s a big label that says, “From Tokyo” Aunt Jasmine’s eyes light up and she tears away at the packaging. Inside, there is bubble wrap and packaging peanuts. Jazz digs further into the box and pulls out something.

My aunt cradles a giant brass cat statue with the creepiest smile imaginable. I cringe just looking at the thing.

“Who’s the cutest wittle kitty? Oh yes, you are!” Jazz cradles the cat, like an actual baby and Rico starts tickling its chin! I cannot believe they’re actually baby-talking a fake cat. Someone get them a dog! I slowly slip into the back room.

Where are those gummies? I rummage through all the boxes but can’t seem to find them. Great. All I wanted was an evening with me and my Haribo gummies. The back room smells like fish and taroーa not-so-good combination.  I think I’ve lost my appetite.

Gen dances in through the door and lays down the cat on the counter. He goes out immediately after Jazz calls out to him.

The cat’s glassy eyes stare into my soul. It’s hand rocks back and forth.  Forward. Backward. Forward. Backward.

I’m drawn into a mesmerized trance as I reach out to touch the cat. My fingers trace the Japanese symbols written on its hand.

FLASH!
    Ow. I fall back into the silver racks and fortunately spill nothing. The cat’s eyes are glowing and its mouth starts opening. Something floats out of its mouth. A little pink cloud erupts from the creepy smile.

I cannot believe what I’m seeing. A little figure is floating around the cat statue.

“Salaam! Ana aljuniyu alqui!” it chirps.

“Umm, I don’t think I understand.”, I reply

A very heavy accent erupts out of its mouth. “Greetings master! I am the all-powerful Anzar! Here at your command!”

Did I get enough sleep last night?! Since when do little genies appear out of cat statues?

I feel a little dizzy. Am I insane?! My thoughts are interrupted by the genie.

“Don’t just stare at me, foolish mortal! I’m sure you’ve heard this tale a hundred times! Now act like the 8th grader you are and ask me the wishes!

“H-how do you know I’m in eighth grade?”, I stutter.

“You really are stupid. I am an all-powerful genie and if I have the power to grant you wishes then I can know what grade you’re in!

I run out of the room while the little figure blabbers away. Jazz needs to know that the cat is possessed.

“..and a chocolate coffee jelly milkshake.” She’s taking someone’s order.

“Ok, one California rolls 6 count and a Choco Coffee Jelly Shake to go. Anything else, Ma’am?

“That will be all, thank you!”

“Ok, just take a seat there and Gen will be out with your food in a jiffy!”

The customer sits down and I tug on Jazz’s apron.

“Hey, nugget! Your mom’s picking you up at 7. She wants you to finish your homework so you can go to Sid’s house faster.” I ignore her words and tug harder.

“Jazz! Can I talk to you real quick?”

Just then, a man and his two daughters walk in. Oh, for the love of Pete! Why does everyone have to ruin everything?!

“Oh, I’m sorry baby! It’s rush hour. Auntie will be a little busy. How about you ask Gen?”

I give her a reluctant “sure”

…

Gen is shining the cat with a wet towel.

“It was a little dusty in the box, no? Now it is beautiful. Almost as beautiful as your aunt.”

I stop him before he gets too mushy. My brain storms up a convincing lie.

“Hey Gen! So at school we’re doing this project about different parts of Asia and I chose Tokyo!

“Oh wow! I see you are being quite patriotic, no?”

“Um..yeah! So,  I need this cat statue to symbolize the importance and stuff.

Gen gives me a thumbs up. “That cat is dear to your auntie so make sure to return it. Also, be careful! I spent almost 30 minutes cleaning it!

I slip the cat in my backpack, and run to Jazz’s heated office. I only have so much time! I need to ask her why she’s in here!

After many failed attempts, I trace the lettering and the genie appears. She is filing her tiny nails.  I’m greeted with an annoyed look from her.

“Finally! Did you come up with a wish yet?

“Uh… how did you get in there?” She looks super annoyed with my question.

“Do you not understand the phrase, “Three Wishes”?! Call me when you’ve thought of something.”

“Wait wait wait! Er.. I wish to know how you ended up in there.”

With an eye roll, she declares, “Fine. Your wish is my command.

After a dramatic pause, she starts balbering away.

“I was discovered by a Taiwanese toddler. The little idiot drops the lamp in a pond and hides me in his family’s lucky cat. It was terrible!  All the other genies get insulated velvet sofas but instead I slept on the floors of a cold ceramic cat! Then the family sells me to a pawn shop, and generation after generation passed this cat down. Somehow I ended up here…”

“When did the kid find you?”, I ask

“About a few million years ago.”, she says casually.

If this genie has lived for more than a million years than she can do anything! I must think through my wishes carefully.

My thoughts shift to somewhere else. Visions of food cloud my brain. I’m so sick and tired of sushi and boba! My lips begin to open.

“I wish for… a bowl of cheesy lasagna and brownies for dessert….” I can feel myself drooling.

“Seriously?!” She rolls her eyes again. “Well you get what you wish for.” With a bow she says, “Your wish is my command.”

A big blue bowl full of meaty, cheesy goodness appears in front of me. A glass plate full of hot, soft, chocolate brownies is set next to the bowl.

“Come to Mama!” My hand reaches out to eat the scalding lasagna.

“Ow!” I quickly retract my hand and wave it around.

“Ouch! Ouch! I wish for a fork!”, I shout.

The genie zaps my plate and a shiny, metal fork appears. Anzar is dying with laughter just as I realize I’ve used my last wish.

“Oh crap! Oh, what luck! I’m such an idiot!” I scold myself.

If that wasn’t enough the bowl and plate disappear.

“Foolish girl! Of all these years, so many people have wished for riches; for happiness! Instead you wish for food?! HAHAHA!” The little genie conjures up a suitcase and starts floating towards the cat.

“Sayonara, stupid!” A hat appears on her tiny head and she tips it.

“No! No! NO!”, I scream at the cat.

The door opens and Jazz comes in.

“Wow, you really love that cat, don’t you?”, she laughs.  “You know, nugget, you can keep it if you want.”

“Um,, No Thanks! Er-I mean, it’s ok. It’s yours.”, I tell her.

“Are you sure?”, she asks. I nod as she lifts the cat and we walk to the counter.

I smell a delicious aroma and find Gen sitting at a table with big plastic bags.

“Since it’s a Friday, we thought you’d like some lasagna from the Italian place down the street.”, Jazz says.

“Oh my gosh! Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! ” I repeat my thank-yous until I reach the table. Gen lays a plate of lasagna and surprise, surprise一chocolate brownies on the table! Jazz spoons the lasagna on a plate for me and hands me a plastic fork 一while I burst out in laughter. It’s been a quite the crazy day!

The Partition of Disaster

************************************************************************

I have to be careful with my breathing. All I see is the irradiated face of Amma. We are secured in a dim closet, a single candle lighting up the place.  I am tired of sitting. We’ve been stuck in this closet for about three hours now.

I am not into politics, but as far as I know the British have just partitioned India. All my Muslim friends are now my enemies, and all our Muslim uncles are out to get us. There are women and children outside, dousing themselves with kerosene just so they can protect their honor and dignity. Amma has kept a jug of kerosene and matches to the side, in case all else fails. I doze off in Amma’s sari as she caresses my head.

************************************************************************

“Baahar aao! Baahar ek bailagaadee khadee hai! Chaaho to dvaar khol do!”

I’m awoken to a man’s voice coming from outside the door. Amma puts her finger to her lips and looks at me. This man is probably trying to lure us outside to danger. We can’t let him in. My brave mother questions the mysterious man.

“Aap kaun hain, aur aap hamaare saath kya karane ja rahe hain?!”

The man pauses and tells us he has no intentions of doing anything like that, and that he has a cart waiting outside and is helping people flee the town. Amma grabs a stone knife from the corner of the closet and slowly unlocks the door. I hold my breath and see a man with an unshaven face. He is staring at us intently. We get up from the closet and step outside. My feet are shaking because it’s been so long since I last stood up. Amma tucks her knife in her sari and takes me by the hand as we follow the man. After about two minutes, he brings us to a cart with irritated looking oxen. In the back is a full load of onions. We can’t possibly ride in the seats because the patrollers will see us. Amma does not wear a hijab so they will know we’re Hindu women.

“Sheeghr! Pyaaj mein jao aur apane aap ko chhipao”

The next thing we know, we’re being ushered by the man into the onion load. After a quick transferral, the cart starts moving.

There’s something about riding in the back of an open vehicle. There’s something else about riding one full of onions.

****************************************************************************

Onions are surprisingly comfortable. My sleep is disturbed by the distant shoutings of men. I peek out of the onions and see a bunch of men holding torches in the night sky. We approach them and they start shouting.

“Krpaya gaadee se neeche utaren, isalie ham isakee jaanch karate hain!”

This is it. They’re going to find us and we will be slaughtered. I pray to the Lord and silently bid my last goodbyes. I hold Amma tight and tell her I love her. Amma repeats my words and pulls me in close, as we speed up to the group. The driver gets down, and I prepare myself for the worst. I go deeper into the onion pile. Amma follows my move. We feel their hands rummage through the onions and I whisper my prayers. They start pulling at my shawl and I start panicking. Finally the pulling stops. I feel my shawl and it's still there. There is a conversation outside. The men are wondering why this man has kept a shawl in the onions.

“Aapake paas yah dupatta kyon hai?!”

“Meree betee...aaj aag mein jalakar mar gaee. Mere paas sirph yahee bacha hai. Krpya. Ek gareeb pita ke dil ko samajhe.”

I feel empathy for this man. This shawl is the last of his daughter, and he doesn’t want to forget her. The men don’t question him anymore and allow him to pass through. I hold Amma tight as we share tears of joy. After a few minutes, he starts talking to us.

“You know, My daughter had the most beautiful eyes. Every day she woke up with a smile. She wanted to be a teacher. But now-”

He pauses to wipe his eyes

“But now she will never be. They took her. They took her honor and left her in the fire to burn. They took my Prakrti. They took away my joy. My only happiness!”

He wails away into the night. His pain echoes through the hills and trees. I grieve for his daughter even though I never knew her. I’ve never had a father or seen him and if I did, I know he would’ve loved me like this.  I clutch her pink shawl and reminisce in her memory. I can feel Amma crying. My tears rock me to sleep.

************************************************************************

The morning sun seeps through my eyelids. Amma looks at me, her hair all messy, and covered with onion peels. Her eyes are still lined with kohl from the previous day. The man stops at a street stand and buys milk for the oxen. He says it’s safe to get down. I can barely stand, as Amma helps me down the cart. A kind elderly woman stands at the stand, transferring tea between glasses. The three of us sit on stools, as we drink and chat.

The man looks at me and smiles.

“Tum usake jaise hee dikhate ho.”

I remind him of his daughter. He reminds me of a father. Amma and the man chat and  I explore around the stand. There is a Sal tree with words engraved in it.

bura karake bhee muskuraate raho

It says to Smile, even through the bad.

Somehow, these words stick to me. I go back to my mother and the man and they get up from the stools and walk towards the cart. He helps us on and says, “My name is Rajkumar, by the way.”

We load onto the cart and head towards the sun.

******************************************************************************

The heavy hot sun bears down on us, as the oxen trudge through the hot desert. The cart starts shaking and onions start flying out. One of the oxen has become rabid and keeps jumping and trying to swing us out of the cart. The cart is flying up and down until one of it’s wooden wheels breaks. We fall onto the desert sand, onions trickling behind us, The bull finally frees itself and starts ramming the cart. After a few hours in the hot sun, help arrives. A group of men with skin the color of elephant tusks ride by on white horses.

One of them calls out to his friend.

“Jonathan! It’s a couple of beggars. Should we help them?”

I don’t understand their dialect and language, but by the way, they’re looking at us, they mean no good.

One of the men grab my arm and say, “You’re coming with us, sweetheart.”

I don’t know what he’s saying but his motion scares me.

I shout back in Hindi, “Mujhe jaane do!”

I am not a crybaby and I don’t wish to be but I can feel tears streaming down my face. We were so close! Just a few more kilometers and we would’ve made it to Mumbai! We were so close! He wraps my hands in a rough rope and hoists me onto the horses. Rajkumar tries to object but the man points a gun at him. He and Amma are thrown onto horses. The horses start moving and Amma screams my name in tears. I’ve never seen her cry like this. One of the men cover her mouth and she falls off the horse. She writhes in pain as lays on the desert ground, hands and feet bound.

“Nahin! Meree betee ko mujhase mat lo! Nahin!”

I scream out to her.

“Maan! main tumase pyaar karata hoon!”

“Shut up you two! Stop talking.”, a man instructs us.

My feet aren't tied so I jump off the horse and run to my fallen mother. I can’t hug her so I lay my head on her neck and whisper through my tears.

“Main tumhaare lie aata hoon maan. Me vaada karata hu.”

I feel a throb through my skull as someone grabs my hair and wraps a cloth around my mouth.  He carries me away from my mother and all I can manage to do is cry. I watch my helpless mother being dragged to the horse and shipped away from me. She leans against Rajkumar and looks at me with sad eyes.

What was my crime?

Translation

“Baahar aao! Baahar ek bailagaadee khadee hai! Chaaho to dvaar khol do!”

Come! Come! Unlock the door is you wish to live!

    “Aap kaun hain, aur aap hamaare saath kya karane ja rahe hain?!”

Who are you and what are you going to do with us?!

“Sheeghr! Pyaaj mein jao aur apane aap ko chhipao”

Quick! Go hide in the onions!

“Krpaya gaadee se neeche utaren, isalie ham isakee jaanch karate hain!”

Please get down from the cart so we may check it.

“Aapake paas yah dupatta kyon hai?!”

Why do you have this dupatta (scarf/shawl)?!

“Meree betee...aaj aag mein jalakar mar gaee. Mere paas sirph yahee bacha hai. Krpya. Ek gareeb pita ke dil ko samajhe.”

My daughter died in the burning fire. I only have this left of her. Please. Understand a poor father’s aching heart.

“Tum usake jaise hee dikhate ho.”

You look just like her.

“Mujhe jaane do!”

Let me go!

“Nahin! Meree betee ko mujhase mat lo! Nahin!”

No! Don’t take my daughter away from me! No!

“Maan! main tumase pyaar karata hoon!”

Mom! I love you!

“Main tumhaare lie aata hoon maan. Me vaada karata hu.”

I’ll come for you Mom. I promise.